down.

i am going through an uncontrolled phase where i'm shoveling food down my throat, and yet, i don't feel full or sick at all...

WHY WHY WHY?

simba.

OMGSH. i want a puppy.... 

run.

going out for a run.
it's wednesday morning... thanksgiving week.
a lot of my friends are still at school..
because.
they have a lot of work to do.
i have an unfinished essay that i need to get to...
but instead,,

i'm going out for a run.

difficult.

at first, not eating dinner was hard...
i mean... i hate that nawing hunger that hits around 9 or 10pm. and i hate it when my stomach growls..
but in reality,
that's just a bad habit that needs to be kicked...

tonight, i'm buying my little brother dinner at Baguette, but i'm not eating, because it's past 6pm.

i'm just gonna sit and talk with him. he understands my diet situation more than anyone else in the world.

i love/hate him.

water.

drinking water constantly has made me:

A. pee like no other

and

B. feel refreshed like no other.

fast.

i'm going to fast this week. just water and green tea... possible some juice if i need the energy...
just for a week...
because...
gluttony is my deadly sin...
and i want to face it head on... feel the pain... embrace it... and tell myself.. see? you can do this... and you are strong enough to do this... now don't let gluttony ruin your life again...
i want...
to have some control.

retreat.

LSF had a retreat this weekend...
and i learned so much...
like how...
we Christians are so laid back... and comfortable...
and we don't do anything...
and we have all these rules... but we don't act any different from anyone else...
it's just more work...

but a Christian life is more than placid.

it is exciting.

and i am proud.

hungry.

the cold weather is making me craving creamy, warm, noodle-y things.

so i caved and ate ramyun noodle...

and oatmeal...

and grapes...

man, i suck at controlling myself when it's cold.

this has gotta stop, you know? 

i just ate a really late breakfast (almost lunch, in fact). and retreat is tonight...

i will not eat until retreat!

til then,

MAN! i need to exercise! i don't know if i'll be able to over the weekend... >.<;;