my life in their eyes.

my mom caught my nose ring.
and all hell broke lose.
she.
told me not to come back home.
we didn't take graduation pictures.
or stay for lunch.
we didn't say bye to our friends.
or meet other people's parents.
we left.

my mom.
cried so hard... pounded on the dashboard of her car.
my dad.
was so angry.
that i made her cry.
he beat me.
pounding my head over and over.
i didn't pull back.
because i felt so bad.
that i made my mom cry.
(and secretly, i wanted bruises in case i need to make a report)

then i was angry.
and scared.
how can i survive now?

my head was still pounding from a migraine that started that morning.
my brother bought me advil.
i took some,
and slept for awhile in the car.

then he told me.
it's not because mom sees her life coming to ruins...
it's that...
she sees MY life flash before her eyes...
and it's not good. 


i am not angry anymore.
just sorry... so sorry...
that i made my mommy cry like that...

(i'm still apprehensive about my dad though, even though he cried... because he hit me... and he had never hit me before... i'm literally scared of him now. once i can move out of the house, i will...)

crunch time. no.

one more exam to go.
just one more.
tonight i get to tell M goodbye~
not permanently,,
but officially...
so that if we ever see each other in the future...
it won't be awkward.

how to say 'good bye'

it was a fun month we spent together...
you knew it was coming...
it wasn't supposed to last... hahaha
i hope you don't think i'm a skank now.
hahaha
don't try to avoid this conversation...
i don't want to meet you later in life...
and have this...
awkwardness...

no hard feelings...
it was a fun month we spent together.