careful.

cautious.
he makes sure...
not to push anything...
he does not touch me...
just laughs,, and smiles,, and looks,,
he does not grab my hand or wraps his arms around me...
only walking close. real close.
right next to me.
laughing and smiling.
only expressing his interest with words and texts.
he does not,,
attempt to touch me...
as if he's afraid
that he might scare me away

hah!

sly thing.
it makes me
want to talk to him
and meet him
more and more.

ya.

"hey soogie-ya!"
he says,,
"what are you doing today, soogie-ya?"
he says,,
"good morning, soogie-ya"
he says,,
"you're so cute, soogie-ya"
he says,,

sometimes he adds 'ya' when it's not necessary,,
(not so good with korean, i suppose)
but adding 'ya',,
makes it personal...
like i'm already his...
like he's already decided that we will be close.

i am taken aback... somewhat.
he reminds me,,
of only one other person,,
who openly expressed,,
that he liked me,,
it feels very nice,,
but at the same time... it's not the same as before.

someone likes me.

that zap,,
when he looks at me,,
and nudges me,,
once or twice,, all accidentally-on-purpose

that shiver,,
when i catch him looking at me,,
and he looks away,,
just a little too late...

that jump,,
when he laughs really really hard,,
because in reality, he looks like such a stoic person,,
with no expression,,

he doesn't touch me.
he tries not to be too forward,, i can tell.
as if he's afraid,,
that he'll scare me away if he's not too careful.

and i smile.
a sad sad smile.
because i wonder,,
why haven't i met you before, huh?

beautiful.

she says i'm perfect the way i am.
he says i'm beautiful.
they both say,
"don't lose more weight..."
"you'll look weird..."
"you look great right now..."

but when i think i'm fat,,
there is nothing anyone can say to change my mind.